The girl in the dining hall

We went to DC this weekend. On Sunday, Mrs. G and myself went to lunch with our two friends at a dining hall on the campus of American University, where they went to college.

Across the dining hall from us was a group of four nerdy girls, the type of girls who don't even realize that they have a vagina yet.

On the way out of the cafeteria, I approached one girl -- big black afro, pale, ghostlike skin -- and confessed something to her.

"Hi there we had an English class together last year boy oh wow was that class hard or what I think you look really nice and seem like a nice person and I really like you a lot okay bye."

I was staring at the floor the entire time. Then I gently walked away as I heard this table gasp and then giggle.

These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

My old boss, Dr. W., was a perfectly fine person to work for. However, this did not change the fact that she is a woman in her 50's and I only know about Chico's and Talbot's in passing.

This generational gap was no more evident than one afternoon a few months ago. My boss and I had to walk from our building to another on campus to drop off some boxes. I am usually fine walking in complete silence with someone I have nothing in common with. Dr. W, however, is the opposite. She feels the need to fill in empty space with empty conversation. And that lead to the following exchange:

DR. W: "So, Gregg, do you ever watch Seinfeld?"
GREGG: "Yes. I've seen Seinfeld."
(We walk for about 45 seconds.)
Dr. W: "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

We then continued to walk in silence for the next five minutes.

The World According To Jim

ABC has renewed The World According To Jim for another season.

Everyone who watches this show should be euthanized.