Thursday, January 25, 2007

Tag! I'm It! 5 Things You Don't Know About Me Probably

These tag things are making the rounds of the world of NYC comedy and has now made its way to me via my brother. Naturally, you can read what we wrote about each other here:

But now I have to reveal 5 things about myself. Here goes:

1. I'm a registered Republican.
Some of you probably do know this about me, but most people who don't know me so well just assume that I'm a lefty because I have good taste in music, movies and books. And the fact that I have, at times of my life, tried to lead uprisings against various authority figures. And I was a journalist. But nuh-uh, this isn't true. I usually vote conservative/Republican, although I did vote for Nader in 2000 and I'm throwing up thinking about how I voted for Bush last go around.
And I hate the far, Christian right just as much as Jon Stewart tells you to. I just don't think a big federal government is capable of enacting social change as much as individuals or smaller, more local and direct governments can. I blame it on reading P.J. O'Rourke at an impressionable age. And from reading Milton Friedman later on.

2. I hate professional football.
I am an American male in his late-20's who is obsessed with sports. I have spent 28 years thinking I loved the NFL. But I can't lie to myself anymore. I started to wane last year and this year I came to the conclusion that the NFL is the most boring fucking thing on earth. I plan on watching a lot more of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl that I do the Super Bowl. I would rather watch handicapped 'Nam vets play indoor wiffleball than a NFL game. Except for the Pats/Colts last week. What a thriller.

3. I was a shockingly decent Little League baseball player.
This was largely due to the fate of having a December birthday, which allowed me to play against kids much, much younger than me. Like my brother's age. But I was a very solid pull hitter with occassional power and a very fundamentally sound fielder. I once even threw out a kid trying to score from the outfield. I also got to pitch in a few games when I was on a really good team, where I threw a slow curve/knuckleball hybrid I dubbed "The Slurve." This was all for naught once I switched to an all 8th-grade team. I fucking sucked and quit the team in the middle of the season. But the last few times I went to a batting cage, I hit some ropes and regained some of my lost dignity. Some.

4. I am woefully blind in my right eye.
With both eyes open and unimpeded, I have excellent vision. But if I just look at things with my right eye alone, then I'm transformed into a tall, gangly, version of (enter in the name of famous blind black R&B singer here.) This is because I was born with a lazy eye that was corrected in 2nd grade, when I wore a patch over my left eye for the entire year. My eye no longer wandered around (thank fucking god) but still had really shitty vision. An eye doctor wanted me to wear a patch over my eye again when I was a freshman in high school. I would rather (enter in a form of graphic and degrading physical torture here.)

5. I love Sugar Ray.
And Blink 182. I had to come clean.

Someone else do this, also.


Anonymous meghann said...

#5... you might as well add Third Eye Blind in there. I am sure if you listen to God Of Wine on repeat it will bring a tear to you baseball lovin', football hatin', Republican blind eye.

6:26 AM  

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