Agent Zero Is My Hero

"Everyone get drunk and make stupid decisions."

I fall in love quite easily. All it takes is some combination of athletic prowess and personality and I'm yours, forever.

Recent Gregg G. man crushes have included Ryan Howard, Adam Morrison, former La Salle University Mr. Everything Steve Smith, Allen Iverson and pretty much anyone who was on the New York Yankees from 1977-2006.

There's a new person in town, though, and his name is Gilbert Arenas.

For the uninformed, Gilbert Arenas is a guard who plays on the Washington Wizards who is the second leading scorer in the NBA. He's also known for his outrageous quirkiness -- wearing a robe like the one above on opening night, sleeping in an "altitude tent" to gain endurance, sleeping on couches as opposed to beds, throwing his jersey to the home fans every time he plays before them, sponsoring a halo team, screaming the word "hibachi" whenever he takes a shot, screaming the phrase "shot selection" whever he takes a shot, and playing online poker during halftime.

But what cemented my love were his antics this week: a crazy game winning shot, a post-game press conference afterwards where he said "My swag is phenomenal" and then throwing a birthday party where the 7500 people in attendance had to arrive holding an "Arenas Express" card where they were greeted by a giant ice sculpture of the man of the honor, seeing P-Diddy perform, and then having Gilbert Arenas end his big day by proclaiming "Everyone get drunk and make stupid decisions."

Gilbert Arenas: you are fucking amazing in every which way a person can be amazing. Thank you for being you. Your only downfall is that you play in DC and not in the city where I currently reside.